I Second that Emotion

Throughout my career as an executive assistant, I have learned many valuable lessons, one of which is that our emotions can lead to both positive and negative outcomes, particularly in our profession.

As administrative professionals, we often enter this field with a servant's heart. This means we genuinely care about others, want to help, and strive to resolve issues. We aim to make processes seamless and correct any problems, all while managing a multitude of demanding tasks each day, often with little or no recognition.

This aspect of the job is part of what we signed up for.

The mental stress we experience can be overwhelming at times, and I can honestly say there were many moments when I felt like I needed a straitjacket or I could face murder charges for strangling a co-worker (or even my boss).

There was a time when I felt completely overwhelmed. I was deep in the weeds of planning and organizing a complicated meeting schedule for a candidate whom my CEO wanted to interview with several members of the executive team. It felt like I was playing Tetris as I shifted appointment times up, down, and around to accommodate everyone, including the candidate’s constantly changing schedule. I was pulling my hair out, and I was fortunate to have any hair left as I struggled to get everything lined up.

All systems were a go by the late afternoon, with everyone, including the candidate, scheduled, all appropriate materials in everyone’s hands, the conference room booked, and I could finally play “host” with confidence the next day when the candidate was to arrive.

All the best-laid plans can sometimes go awry. The following morning, just an hour before the candidate was scheduled to arrive, I received a call from one of our executive assistants informing me that my first interviewer, a key executive in the process, could no longer meet with the candidate due to scheduling conflicts. I must admit, I was furious. Not only was this executive critical to the interview process, but he was also the first person scheduled to conduct the first interview in the morning. Given the late notice, it was impossible to rearrange the rest of the interview lineup.

I stormed over to the executive assistant's desk, catching her by surprise as she sat focused on her computer. In a rush of frustration, I expressed my concerns, saying, "You need to fix this, and do it now!" After making my point, I abruptly left her cubicle and returned to my desk to figure out how to resolve the issue of having a candidate wait for an hour with no one available to meet with them.

I scrambled to prepare reading materials for the interviewee, placed them in the conference room, and, while greeting him in the lobby, escorted him upstairs with my sincerest apologies for the schedule change.

As I was walking back to my cubicle, I heard sobbing coming from the cubicle next door. When I went to check, it was the executive assistant I had chastised just an hour earlier. She sat there teary-eyed, with crumpled tissues scattered around her computer. When she looked at me, I felt a rush of empathy that brought tears to my own eyes. I had allowed the stress of trying to create the perfect interview schedule to take control of my emotions, and I had unfairly unleashed them on her when she had to change the schedule due to her executive’s commitments.

I sincerely apologized to her for my poor behavior. Sadly, I do not think our relationship was ever the same after that. I allowed my emotions to take control.

It has become an important lesson for me not only at work but in life, especially when my negative feelings are intense.

I try to remind myself to hold my tongue until my heart and reasoning catch up.