I don’t believe we are born with confidence, except cry loudly when we need something or want attention.
Confidence is something we must learn as we grow up. While it may come more naturally to some, for most of us, me included, it takes work.
Have you ever raised your hand to say something and been ignored? Or maybe you were trying to speak up and were not even acknowledged? Maybe you had something to contribute, a great idea to share, but were afraid to say anything for fear of how others might perceive you?
We have all been there. I dealt with this for several years working as an executive assistant supporting a very dynamic and powerful executive. I was intimidated. I would get tongue-tied, ramble due to nerves, look down at my feet, and speak softly, making it hard for my executive to hear me. Believe me, I had it all going for me (sigh).
Lack of confidence in our communication can hold us back from getting what we need and want, becoming our best selves, or living the fulfilling life we want. I had to work hard every day to build my own confidence, step up, step out, and eventually become a speaker, trainer, and later an author. It was NOT easy!
I was recently asked to lead a workshop for a group of administrative professionals on this topic, as this profession can present many challenges. To excel in this role, we must have a “servant’s heart,” among other qualities, which can easily be taken advantage of by others. I have had many coaching sessions with administrative professionals who have felt beaten down, disrespected, or taken advantage of, all due to a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities.
Administrative professionals are far more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. We should matter because we have a duty to preserve the significance of this role and be seen as strategic players in a company’s success. We can influence outcomes, and our confident communication can affect how we are treated and valued.
Confidence is not a personality; it is a skill. Candidly, it can be a full-time job, and it takes believing in yourself because there are no days off.
Telling yourself that you are important, or even that you are an amazing person, can take work, especially on some of the more difficult days.
How does confidence show up? It is displayed in our physical selves and in our vocal and verbal actions.
Here’s the truth: how we show up everyday shapes how we are perceived. Perception is an opinion of how others feel and think about us, whether it is fair or true; however, it is up to us because we can change that perception!
Wouldn’t it be great if we could feel confident speaking up in our staff meetings? To manage and control the agenda we have been asked to manage. To politely interrupt when necessary, and deal with others’ interruptions with grace and tact, while still maintaining our professional demeanor with the executives in the room and others.
My coaching explores the factors that show confidence, both physically and in our language. How can we strengthen and structure our language to converse at all levels? There are strategies we can use to eliminate self-doubt, make stronger recommendations, and remove the phrases that make us appear weak and doubtful.
I share what I call “tone” starters that display confidence in words, learning how to push back, when necessary, how to be more assertive, especially with executives, and to discover the true value of speaking up.
As administrative professionals, our biggest challenge and barrier to confidence in our communication is fear.
Let’s change that by speaking up with confidence, starting today.